So it's a done deal. I'm all signed and the proud owner of a 2007 Sapphire blue Susuki Forenza!



She's a sweet little car. Zippy has a few quirks I'm still adjusting too, but all in all, I am pleased with the deal.

Now back to writing.

So I'm sitting here at the car place waiting to get the car. So far, so good. Payments are going to be a little high, but no where near as high as they were. I'll keep posting as time goes by.

So I was watching TV. I should be writing, but for some reason I can't seem to get motivated lately. But anyway... I was watching TV and I saw an ad for "A Christmas Carol: The Musical". When did they decide to turn EVERYTHING into a bloody musical? It started with a guy and his vampire slayer. Don't get me wrong, Buffy: The Musical was an AWESOME episode. One of my favorites, but musicals for the strangest things are popping up out of no where. For instance...

Refer Madness: The Musical - You think I'm kidding... Actually, its pretty funny.
Mamma Mia - Hello, did you really want to hear Pierce Brosnan TRY to sing karaoke to Abba?
Legally Blond: The Musical - Just because its on Broadway doesn't make it a good musical.
Dr. Horrible - Once again... Joss Whedon at his finest.
A Christmas Carol: The Musical - I have nothing to say about this one.

I still don't have one yet. I have the rental I got a month ago until the end of this week. I like "Zippy". Yes... I affectionately named my rental. My truck had a name, but I don't want to share that name due to the fact that it will completely show off my obsession with Anime... Yes I am that kind of geek too. I am hoping for this sweet little Ford Focus I saw at the lot I am going to get the car from. Or the cherry little Honda. But it all depends on the price. Hopefully, I can negotiate my price and get a good deal on the Honda. I wont hold my breath. I will know Friday.

Wow... Has it really been that long? I guess it has. Let's see, what has happened in the last year?

NOT A GOD DAMN THING.

Well, okay, maybe no nothing. My lap top crashed and I had to completely start from scratch with a new OS. I wrecked my truck and am in the process of shopping for a new car. I'm still love-less... Not that it really bothers me. I started to twitter... Not really good at keeping up with that either. But other than that... NOT A GOD DAMN THING!

Sometimes I wonder why I bother.

*Shrugs* Oh well... Life will continue... as always...

I'm horrible at this whole posting/bloging thing and I know it... But meanwhile I am posting today to bitch... Yes bitch... Not like I don't do that alot...

For those that don't know anything about my car being broken for the last two weeks... My car has been busted for the last two weeks. I've been bussing it to work anyway, but having to get out of bed before the crack ass of dawn to get to work REALLY sucks.

Meanwhile, my frist diagnosis of my car problems was a fuel filter, something easy and relatively cheap to fix. I stood around at the car place and waited for them to come tell me what was wrong with my car. “I’m sorry ma’am… It’s a sensor. Here is the quote to fix it…”

Part cost $200… 2 hour minimum labor charge... $225… Seeing me faint dead on the floor… Priceless…

After picking myself up off the floor, I nursed the car back home. I started calling around the different part stores to see if I couldn’t get the part cheaper. I did… $170 and two weeks later I had the part in my hot little hands.

Why is it that the smallest parts on a car can cause the biggest problems?

The idle/air regulator sensor… It’s a little sensor about the size of your fist that regulates the gas/air flow into the engine. To change it takes TWO SCREWS AND A FREAKING WIRE! It took me 10 minutes to fix (and that’s because it was dark and a dropped one of the screws and spent 5 minutes looking for it).

Part cost $170… Fumbling around in the dark with a screw driver for 10 minutes... $0… Seeing me throw rotten eggs at my mechanic… Priceless.

I think life is a bowl of mush... Squishy and gooey, and down right disgusting at times. The good news is that you can do almost anything with the bowl of mush. You can shape it and mold it to what ever suits your fancy. In the end, if you aren't happy with the the creation you can squish all down and start over.

I'm having one of those moments in my life were I'm not happy with my bowl of mush. I want to scream and yell and toss my bowl across the room. But I can't. Its the only bowl I have. So I am going to squish my mush castle to the ground and start over.

I short, life sucks again. Not that it didn't suck before. It just sucks more right now than usual. I will do what I always do... I will survive and go on with my happy fucking day like every other fucking day, like nothing happened.

Words of wisdom for the day:

"Sometimes people are like a Slinky. Boring 90% of the time. Then you throw them down the stairs..."

Have you ever had that cough that wouldn't go away? Did you ever think that sniffle was just allergies? Did you finally go to a doctor when you finally couldn't take it any more? I did and I had a really nasty sinus infection + strep throat. Aren't I special. I've been home for THREE DAYS! And I haven't don't a gosh darn thing!

Monday and Tuesday I did nothing but sleep. I got up long enough to do what I had to do in the bathroom, then it was back to bed. I couldn't eat because my tonsils (Yes, I'm 31 and I still have them) were so swollen I couldn't swallow. My doctor keeps tellimg me that I need to have them taken out... I keep agreeing with him, but I just can seem to afford it. So they stay in and every few years, I suffer with a painful sore throat, I eat baby food for a few days, all the ice cream I want, and I even loose a few pounds.

Back to the sleeping thing. I don't think I am going to sleep for the rest of the week. I don't need to. I slept for 48 hours straight. Except for getting up to do my thing in the bathroom. I'm an insomniac for Pete's sake! How am I supposed to recover my reputation as an insomniac if I go and sleep for 48 hours. It should mean that I have at least 8 days I've saved up for (I average about 6 hours of sleep at most).

Yes, being hyper-creative and hyperactive ties directly into the insomnia. I can't be one without the other. If I take the pills that tone down the insomnia, I loose the hyper-creativity. I've been there and done that, and still hated my life. I've taken the medication to tone down the hyperactivity. I still loose the hyper-creativity, but I end up being and insomniac with nothing better to do than watch stupid info-mercials all freaking night long. I would rather just be insane than take any medication to tone down the insanity.

I like my perpetual state of insanity. I'm scared of all the sane people. I may talk to the voice in my head, and they do talk back to me. I listen to them and they give me great advice. There are those few voices that whisper things like "Wouldn't he look better when his blood splatters up against the wall?" I have to admit that "he" would, but that doesn't mean I'm going to pick up the crow bar and bash his head in... No... Quite the contrary, I will create a character in a story and kill him metaphorically. See. I'm not completely insane, just mostly insane.

Other voice: Tori, weren't you talking about how you hate being sick, as in with a cold sick... Not mentally screwed up in the head sick?

Oh yeah... right... As I was saying... I hate being sick... With strep throat... And stuff...

And just because...

Several years ago, eight to exact, we found a skinny little tabby out behind our garage. We brought him in and made him our friend. Like all cats, he was never our pet, we were his pets. Hissiphur was my best friend when things got tough. He would lay in my lap for hours purring happily, content to be loved.

He had odd quirks that made him unique even for a cat. When I would make my bed, it wouldn't matter where that cat was. He could be on the other side of the house, sound asleep, but the minute you snapped the sheets, Hissiphur would come running. Then we would spend a few extra minutes playing with the cat.

I have a friend that is VERY allergic to cats. Every time he would come over to my house, Hissiphur would make an attempt to get in his lap. There is a picture somewhere of the time Hissiphur actually made it to his lap. The good news is my friend was on massive amounts of allergy meds and his allergies were ok.

Hissiphur liked to lick the mayonnaise off of sandwiches. He would eat Nacho Doritos. They had to be Doritos, and he liked Wendy's fries. Most of all he loved to be brushed. Every morning he would be waiting in the bathroom for two things, to be fed, and to be brushed.

A few months ago now, he stopped meeting me in the bathroom to be fed and to be brushed. At first I thought it was because of the new cat. I set it aside as just being ticked off and he was ignoring me. He would do this on occasion to show he was displeased with the world.

Then he stopped playing. Hissiphur wouldn't play or chase his favorite toy, even making the bed didn't have him come running. Small things really told me that something was wrong. In a matter of weeks, my eighteen pound purr monster became a ten pound shadow. Slowly he waisted away to practically nothing.

I hoped it was just a cat flu, or something treatable. The vet gave me some antibiotics for him, and they worked for a while. It seemed like he was on the mend. He would play a little, and he even started to gain back the weight. But then the medication ran out, and he stopped again.

This time, the vet said it was a matter of time. I took him home and loved him for the last few days. I was hoping to get him through one more week before I did what had to be done. This past weekend was that annual convention that brings such fun and frivolity into my life. The convention came and went, but Hissiphur took the turn that told me it was time.

I lost my best friend today. I lost the one person in the world that was there for me through every goal made, heart break, loss of family, and he gave me nothing but love and understand right back to me. I will miss him terribly.



Hissiphur 2000-2008